Really? EVERY corner? What is this, ABC?
That’s right, people. I say that 50% of the clientele of Starbucks is conspicuous.
“Define:Conspicuous” returned the desired result:
“obvious to the eye or mind”- In this case, the consumer base at Strabucks i call conspicuous becuase of their showy nature. “Oh, Yeah,” they say, “Lets go to Starbucks and get some Soy Latte Grande Double-Shot Decaf Half-Caf Lattes!”
You may call me a hippocrit because i flaunt my manufactured sandwiches, however at least i have the dignity to admit it. You conspicuous consumers stride into Starbucks with your scarf and beanie and 4 kids in a stroller, shoot your little sharp, piercing glares and stares about the already hostile caffienated environment and declare, “Soy Latte Grande Double-Shot Decaf Half-Caf Latte!” and then demand that you too have another “Maple Sausage Scone”- As if you really need the carbs you fucking fatty. Those 4 kids don’t work themselves off you know.
OK, so the american dream has now become to drink Starbucks coffee? Since when has it become OK to monopolize an industry, huh Mr. Starbucks, Sir? Geesh, from Baseball, to Cell Phones, to overpriced caffeine beverages. And don’t ever give me a $5 Starbucks gift card ever again. What am I going to buy? A steamed water?
The word steam reminds me of the time that I was studying with some chill peeps inside of the local coffee establishment of conspicuous nomenclature. I want something light, so I reluctantly yet eagerly order a steamed Apple Juice, one of my more simple wintertime favorites. The nice enough Baristas tell me that I am good to go, so I go back to studying. Now remember that there is nobody else but “us” in this Starbucks, so about 5 minutes later a tall drink appears, and the woman calls “African-Aeuracan Swiss Jesus blend for Scott.” I head over, puzzled, I look at the coffee on the counter. The barista has gone. I sit back down, thinking that it must be a mistake. About 10 minutes later, the coffee is still there. I go up to the counter to ask what happened with my Apple juice. She informs me that they were out of Apple juice. SO THEY GAVE ME SOME SHITTY COFFEE! I tell her that I do not want coffee. I want Apple juice. So, she offers me any beverage. I tell her to make me up a White chocolate mocha. My other favorite. She does so, I enjoy it.
But just because she assumes that I buy for the logo, does not mean that it is okay for her to substitute my ordered merchandise with some sleazy second hand shit coffee that somebody else ordered a cup of that left them with the rest of the pot to pawn off on poor elderly and purely logo-seeking consumers.
That shit is bananas.
Scott
