How many men does it take to change a lightbulb in the kitchen?

None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

Have a good day.

Either way, I promise that STRB will make it up to you, loyal internet. We have a surprise in the wings- which is exciting- however a nothing at the same time. We just have to get clearance from the person who gave it to us to put it online. It will be good.

Scott

In other news, Patrick and I have decided to rekindle the podcast that never left paper. ScottThePodcast that is. If you would like to prepare yourselves for this Extreme Fever that is STPC, then direct your media players, computers, iPhones, iPods, etc to here (warning, link opens iTunes) and hit that much favored subscribe button. Also, keep in mind that trusty Donate button that is lingering somewhere in here. We need moar money so we can podcast.

Scott

http://www.scotttherobot.com/StudyGuide.pdf

Scavenged from the back alleys of Dell.com

By way of the elderly I recently came into possession of a 2003 vintage Dell Dimension 2400. This baby comes complete with Intel Pentium 4 at 2.2GHz, with a whopping 256MB of RAM, and a 40GB Hard drive. Lucky me, it has 6 USB 2.0 ports; such speed is shocking for a Dell. Complete with fingerprinted CRT monitor, ball mouse, and a pleasant keyboard, however no speakers.

So how can this 6 year old PC be of use to me? Find out after the jump.

Operating system? Windows XP Home. Fail. The current install is almost inoperable. It crawls with 256MB RAM, and its not just the RAM. I have an IOpener Netpliance with 64mb RAM that runs XP better- on a 100MHz VIA processor to boot! In order to get the previous owners’ data off of this beast and to their excuse for a “new” computer, I had to try several times with an external DVD burner and a secondary admin account.

I know what you are thinking: Boot a live cd and use that to transfer everything off over the network. Well guess what? A Ubuntu live CD won’t even boot on 256MB RAM, it just hangs at the mouse pointer. Next stop: Windows Server 2003 or even Ubuntu Server Edition. It can join the ranks of my failed Exchange servers, failed web servers, and ignored Linux boxen. Unfortunately, I could not load Windows 7 for some reconnaissance, because not only would it not recognize the additional hard drive I added, but it also only comes equipped with a CD-ROM. No DVDs here!

Task List:

• Add DVD-ROM drive.
• Upgrade measly 40GB hard drive by way of adding a second one.
• Achieve Windows XP Pro/Windows Server 2003 dual boot.

Since I have written the above, I have made some advancements. I have successfully installed Windows Server 2003. That lasted about 2 days, then I replaced it with XP SP3 with the “Royale” theme, AKA media center edition theme. Looks much better. Yesterday, I downloaded Windows 7 Release Candidate from Microsoft, and I plan to install via DVD soon.

UPDATE:

Windows 7 FAILED on this hardware. The graphics card was the only issue, at 640×480 resolution. XP Pro eventually went on this box, and the ram was upgraded to 512mb. It ran like a champ, then got boring. SO, now it is my TrixBox server, happily providing extremely low-cost, and even free, VOIP telephone service. Works great!

That concludes my article,

Scott

Here is this weeks video, easily the best in a while. Watch it all the way through to the end.

Yes! It is the epic video that literally swept the nation. Introduced by Digg and 4Chan, this video made the #1 spot on YouTube with in ONE DAY. Soon, it was OVER NINE THOUSAND! Sorry for the memes. But really, it is amazing. Liz Lemon references Chocolate Rain in 30 Rock season 2 episode “Seinfeld Vision.” Remember, ** I move away from the mic to breathe in.

Next time: Tay’s cover of “Never Gonna Give You Up”

-STRB

Windows 7 "desktop"

WOW. Ive recently been trying out Windows 7 on a few computers. A virtual machine on my MacBook, and 1.6 P4 that had horrible graphics (800×600) and finally a laptop that I have managed to unearth. This baby is a Presario 2500 Series, with a 2.4GHz P4 and 768MB of RAM. It only has a 14.1″ screen at 1024×768, and what once was a decent JBL sound system.

7 Installed smoothly- too smoothly for a typical Microsoft product, which leads me to believe that it was stolen from aliens.

Connecting to my wireless network was simpler than vista. Simpler than XP even. So smooth to perform the connection, and the menus are not convoluted. When you click the wireless icon in the task bar, a 100% opaque menu pops up, protruding from the task bar, with all the listed networks. Simply highlight one and click connect. That is it. Shocking, I know. Once Google Chrome was installed, web browsing is very smooth as well.

However this was after all of the driver issues. Once the common “driver woes” were surpassed, everything went smoothly, but prior to that, it was hell. I had to boot into a Windows XP install just so I could download the driver for my N wireless card. Once that was done, I rebooted into 7 and installed, then tried every driver available for sound, Ethernet, integrated G WiFi, graphics ETC until i finally had a semi-working combination. By semi-working, I mean that the sound stutters, but is recognized, the display shows at 1024×768, the N and G WiFi works, the Ethernet works, the scroller on the mouse works, the floppy drive works, and power management works (but it is not a very good manager). I have yet to test the sound input and the USB ports.
The only device that goes unrecognized is the modem, which I would actually use at our summer home where broadband is not available.

However, I assume that I have spoken too soon, because I also have left untested the parallel and VGA ports, not to mention the IEEE1394 “FireWire (TM)” .

The sound issue sucks a very lot, but the aesthetics make up for it. When I first tested it on my MacBook, my testing was inconclusive and biased because 1) I was using a Mac and 2) It was in a virtual machine and 3) there was no internet connection.

In the next few days/weeks/months/when i’m sugar high enough to, I will try to use 7 for all the things that I use my MacBook for. That means making the rounds on the blogs, writing on my own blog, and enduring the horribly tactile keyboard that gives my hands cramps.

Say hello to the future, not much has changed.

With the launch of the DSi just around the corner (April 5 for those of you who don’t keep up to date with the latest gadgets) the question was going to be brought up at some point:  Should I get a new DS, again?  Well, if you have an original DS, let me save you the time of reading the rest of the post and answer your question in a single word:  YES!  If you have a DS Fat, first, don’t be too ashamed, and second, scrounge up $170 pre-tax and the sleeping bag, and wait outside of your nearest store, as you will no longer have to hide your DS from all your cooler friends.  For the rest of you, read on after the jump.

For those of your who own DS lites as I do, the decision is unfortunately not so black and white.  While the changes are numerous and some key changes are made, nothing groundbreaking occurs, and unlike the change from the DS Fat, there is also no huge aesthetics alteration.  One thing nice to know is that you will only be loosing on feature:  the GBA slot.  If you prefer more current games, like most, then this will not effect you.  But do be warned, some DS games do make use of the GBA slot, so you may lose the ability to play certain games.

Now that that is all out of the way, onto the good stuff.  Much is added to the DSi, most obviously, the two cameras.  These cameras are both VGA (just a measly .3 megapixel), but the idea isn’t to take the most amazing, crisp pictures ever, it is have fun.   One of these cameras is where you would expect it to be, on the outside of the device; the other is facing the user, on the hinge of the device.  The DS comes with a camera and pictures channel (more on the channel system later) which can be used to launch the camera and look at your other photos.  Within the camera, effects, or “lenses” as Nintendo advertises them as, can be applied either before or after photos are taken, and therein lies the fun.  These are supposed to make picture taking fun for the simple reason of just messing around, be it with friends or yourself.  While the appeal of the camera may be lost on you, it can also be accessed by developers for in game use.

Beyond the camera, the next largest physical change to the DS is the addition of an SD card slot.  Removable memory for the DS is long overdue, and badly wanted.  With this, you can now put pictures on your DS from your computer or put on music.  The music is now launched from yet another channel (I’ll get around to explaining it, hold on!) and can also have various effects added to it.  You have the option to speed up, slow down, raise the pitch, or lower the pitch of all your music, in real time.  This can make music much more entertaining.  You can also just listen to your music, if you want to be boring.  One other feature within this channel is the ability to record your own voice, for up to ten seconds, and save it and play it back.  The ten second limit kills the entire appeal of this in my opinion, and hopefully they fix this in a future firmware update.  Aside from music and photos, the SD card can also hold DS Ware games.

While those are the big changes on the hardware front, the big change is in the software.  The DSi features a completely reworked firmware which shares some similarities to the Wii channel system, obviously the fact that it has channels.  These include the previously mentioned Photo/Camera and Music channels plus many others, including the Game channel (launches DS game) and the DS Ware channel, the real game changer.  On this channel, you can download various pieces of software onto the DS.  These are not just games, but also include some Apps, borrowing a little from Apple’s iPhone and iPod Touch.  These are priced on various tiers, which range from free to $8.  These are all saved onto the DS internal memory (256 MB) or the SD card, if you so choose.  With the purchase of a DSi, you will also receive 1000 free DSi points (currency used to buy things off the store, 1 point=1 cent) to buy anything you would like.  While not much software has been released, or even announced, it is widely expected to become much larger than it is now, and it is also widely speculated that the DSi will get a Virtual Console like experience, most likely with Game Boy and Game Boy Advance games available.

The major changes are not very numerous, nor major, but the DSi also includes a number of smaller, less noticable updates.  These include a new larger stylus, a power button and not a switch with the same change on the volume controls, DS cards can be taken out and swapped with the system on, the firmware is updatable, better speakers, raised shoulder buttons, more wireless encryption standards supported, and it has larger screens (3.25 inches versus 3 inches on the previous variations).  It also has some cosmetic changes, which are a 12% thinner system, matte only (no fingerprint smudges here!) , and a slightly larger footprint.

All these changes amount to quite the upgrade, but is it worth it?  At $170, it is $20 more than what the DS Fat cost when it launched, and is a full $40 more than the DS lite is now.  If you absolutely need the GBA slot, then don’t get it.  Other than that, there are no clear major turn on or turn offs.  The cameras are nice and the music is equally pleasant, but I think that it is the DS Ware and possible Virtual Console support that is going to be the driving force behind any purchase.  If you have the money, get the DSi, and you will at least know that it will be worth it eventually, and if you don’t have the money wait until you do, and by then, some great software may be on there worth getting.  A definite improvement on the DS lite, but it is far more revolutionary than revolutionary.

I Want You Inside

APRIL FOOLS, these dudes suck Hannah Montanas…. nevermind. Anyway. Really? Look at how the dude in the center (jeff, chris, astrid, kelly..???) has his right foot. And look how he straddles that mic stand! And you preps tell me to look at the hair!?! Come ON! Anyway. OK. I GOT YOU!

oh oh oh oh

This month’s song is the greatest song since Womanizer by Britney Spears. SINGLE LADIES!!! Oh oh oh oh/oh oh oh oh/oh oh oh oh oh! The song is not that good, considering that it is so repetitive, but the video makes up for it with its crazy dance moves and signature head bob/hand utilization.

heard of it? have one? if not: get one. 

What is it? Amazing. If you want a longer answer, I’d suggest a wiki. Once you join and set up your account, I would strongly recommend following these tumblelogs:

Movie of the Week. Has quotes, pictures, trivia crap about movies.

Harry Potter tumblelog. If you don’t follow this, I will cut you.

Fuck Yeah Puppies. because who doesn’t like puppies?

and my personal favorite: Ragetoons. I often quote these. 

I LOVE TOSTINOS PIZZA ROLLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

other than that, follow whoever you’d like and you will come across wonders of the world like so:

Although it could also be a song, this video is too rockin’ to be left alone. By the reccomendation of Patrick, I viewed this video and thought, I LOVE IT. So, here it is. Amazing. And this song is in my A Playlist. (It is called “A” so it shows up at the top…) IMHO it is amazing. I love the guard giving her a wedgie.

G Damn! Alive again!

Franz Ferdinand is at it again, I say. How he was assassinated in 1914, and then came back to make awesome songs, I’ll never find out. Either way, his newly released song, “No You Girls” is a surefire winner. Lindsey caught onto it by the second time around, so therefore it is good. And I cannot stop listening to it.

Really? EVERY corner? What is this, ABC?

That’s right, people. I say that 50% of the clientele of Starbucks is conspicuous.

“Define:Conspicuous” returned the desired result: 

“obvious to the eye or mind”- In this case, the consumer base at Strabucks i call conspicuous becuase of their showy nature. “Oh, Yeah,” they say, “Lets go to Starbucks and get some Soy Latte Grande Double-Shot Decaf Half-Caf Lattes!”

You may call me a hippocrit because i flaunt my manufactured sandwiches, however at least i have the dignity to admit it. You conspicuous consumers stride into Starbucks with your scarf and beanie and 4 kids in a stroller, shoot your little sharp, piercing glares and stares about the already hostile caffienated environment and declare, “Soy Latte  Grande Double-Shot Decaf Half-Caf Latte!” and then demand that you too have another “Maple Sausage Scone”- As if you really need the carbs you fucking fatty. Those 4 kids don’t work themselves off you know.

OK, so the american dream has now become to drink Starbucks coffee? Since when has it become OK to monopolize an industry, huh Mr. Starbucks, Sir? Geesh, from Baseball, to Cell Phones, to overpriced caffeine beverages. And don’t ever give me a $5 Starbucks gift card ever again. What am I going to buy? A steamed water?

The word steam reminds me of the time that I was studying with some chill peeps inside of the local coffee establishment of conspicuous nomenclature. I want something light, so I reluctantly yet eagerly order a steamed Apple Juice, one of my more simple wintertime favorites. The nice enough Baristas tell me that I am good to go, so I go back to studying. Now remember that there is nobody else but “us” in this Starbucks, so about 5 minutes later a tall drink appears, and the woman calls “African-Aeuracan Swiss Jesus blend for Scott.” I head over, puzzled, I look at the coffee on the counter. The barista has gone. I sit back down, thinking that it must be a mistake. About 10 minutes later, the coffee is still there. I go up to the counter to ask what happened with my Apple juice. She informs me that they were out of Apple juice. SO THEY GAVE ME SOME SHITTY COFFEE! I tell her that I do not want coffee. I want Apple juice. So, she offers me any beverage. I tell her to make me up a White chocolate mocha. My other favorite. She does so, I enjoy it.

But just because she assumes that I buy for the logo, does not mean that it is okay for her to substitute my ordered merchandise with some sleazy second hand shit coffee that somebody else ordered a cup of that left them with the rest of the pot to pawn off on poor elderly and purely logo-seeking consumers.

That shit is bananas.

Scott

can you hear me now? Duh.

The year: 2009, The Place: Everywhere

Look around in a public setting, preferably Starbucks. What do you see? A pair of the signature white ear buds peppered across the room, maybe a Bluetooth headset peeking from under the unreasonably long hair of the environmentalist in the corner, one or two PCs, and a plethora of Macs.

But what you maybe don’t see is what’s in everyone’s pockets. Maybe you do, because you have x-ray vision (you pervert), or maybe you seem to think that you’ve been in those pants, and therefore remember what kind of phone they had. Well, regardless of your ability to score, it seems that everyone in the room in which you may be looking has a cellular device. The 12 year old with the hot chocolate and cookie looks to have a small, cheap, prepaid piece in his pocket, attempting to prove that he is responsible enough for a real cell phone. The sharp looking business man, with his belt, seems to have about four different Smartphones, not to mention the double-action headsets he’s got going on.

Suddenly, an emo teen walks in, pressed to her face a fantastically subsidized GSM shitphone. You suddenly realize that the cell phone has become the American dream. My six year old cousin constantly brags about how someday, he too will be a card-carrying member of the cellular community. What he may not realize is that nobody cares, which is why I am writing this article.

Think about this: When was the last time that you went somewhere without your beloved cell phone? When was the last time that you saw someone without his or her much beloved cell phone? Were they without it on purpose? Nope. They forgot it. Had they remembered to put it in their pocket, which they usually do, they would be glued to that phone like white is glued to rice.

Next time you are in class, and the teacher is not paying attention, look around. Regardless whether the teacher be writing something extravagantly mundane on the board or updating the grade book, if you look around you will find that many about you will be composing textual messages to their much beloved, socially inept, “friends” using that same much beloved cellular phone.

Have you ever been on a car or bus trip, and heard someone exclaim, “Dang! There is no service here! [insert carrier] sucks the big ones! I hate them!”… Well, have you? I thought so. Simply because they are without their precious cancer causing magic commonly known as “bars” for a few moments, evoked inside of them comes the strong feelings of hate, regret, and the desperation and longing for a single bar.

I was recently told a story of a family whose offspring had ran up a $4,000 charge for text messaging. The family managed to come to an agreement with the cellular provider which involved changing plans and a new contract to change the bill, however the child was left uninformed and is expected to work off the $4,000 charge with no financial aid from anyone.

So, my point is this: stop complaining. What do I mean by that? Oh, I’m sorry that when I get an email, my cell phone vibrates. That doesn’t give you the right to tell me to stop texting at the table. You, the payer of the bill, should know that I do not text message, and even if I did I would not be text messaging at the table, or anyplace in formal company for that matter.

Stop complaining because everybody does it. And just because everybody else does it, does not mean that I do it. So there.

Scott